Friday, April 29, 2011
365 in progress
I did post my first picture here on this blog but I've been continuing my 365 with a tumlbr account I've created. So if you would like to follow my 365, you can do so at sharayahdawn.tumblr.com. I've also got my pictures up on my flickr account here.
Monday, April 18, 2011
365 // 001
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Remember that cool project that time?
After last week's class I was feeling more motivated to attempt to make something for myself again. I wasn't sure what but I knew that I wanted to try something. And I thought that I shouldn't just make something just to make something. So when Beth gave us this assignment and told us to create something memorable, I kind of got a little nervous. After everything I had talked about in my previous blog and in class, I was a little nervous that I wouldn't be able to create something memorable to me or to the class.
This week, was a bit more stressful than I wanted it to be with schoolwork and getting scheduled 5 days at work. When I get stressed, I try my hardest to make time to go running. When I go running, I get a solid 30 minutes or so where I don't have to think about anything that's stressing me out with school or work or anything else in my life. I get to just focus on running and let my mind take it's own course. That's my wellspring of creativity. The best ideas that I have for projects for school or for myself have usually always come to me when I've made that time for myself to go running. This week when I was running, I had an idea that led me to this project that I'm going to be creating for this assignment.
What I've really missed most is taking pictures. I took a photography class earlier this year and I loved it so much. I learned so much about my camera and about photography in general and had so much fun. But this semester has made it near impossible for me to find the time to go out and take a few hours to take pictures like I want to. So while I was running, I had an idea for a picture I'd like to take and I thought about how I'd like to do that for this project and how it would relate to my wellspring being running and all. And yes, it would be a good picture and it would be memorable to me. But it would a one time thing and I would get an assignment out of the way. It would also get one creative burst out of my system and then what?
I have a friend who started doing a 365 project 148 days ago and she has been sticking to it. Like me, photography is a hobby for her, although she takes it a bit more seriously. She does self-portraits and even though she doesn't always feel up to it, she still manages to get a really beautiful photograph taken every day. When she started doing this, I was really inspired and wanted to do something like this, but was very intimated by the idea of trying to take a creative photograph every day for a year. Not to mention with my schedule how in the world would I have the time to do something like that?
Then this assignment came along. My friend updated her facebook page with her latest pictures around the time I was still coming up with my idea for this project and then all of a sudden this idea and courage finally hit me. Why not just go ahead and finally start my own 365 project? Every time I see her pictures, I'm always wanting to do exactly what she's doing. So why not do it? This assignment is just the motivation and kick in the ass I need to do it. A 365 project isn't the most original idea but the photographs will be. They will be my own and they will be what I need to help me find my creative spark again. If it's one small creative spark a day, that's all I need.
I'm excited and scared to be starting this project. I'm excited to see what photographs I'll be taking and all the new things I'm going to be learning about my camera and myself as a photographer and a creator. I'm scared that I won't be able to finish this project and that I will lose my passion for photography throughout the making of this project. But I won't know unless I try.
So with that said, I bet you are wondering where is my first picture. Well, I figured it would be best if I actually started my 365 on April 18, 2011. I will take my first picture then and post it in another blog entry. :)
This week, was a bit more stressful than I wanted it to be with schoolwork and getting scheduled 5 days at work. When I get stressed, I try my hardest to make time to go running. When I go running, I get a solid 30 minutes or so where I don't have to think about anything that's stressing me out with school or work or anything else in my life. I get to just focus on running and let my mind take it's own course. That's my wellspring of creativity. The best ideas that I have for projects for school or for myself have usually always come to me when I've made that time for myself to go running. This week when I was running, I had an idea that led me to this project that I'm going to be creating for this assignment.
What I've really missed most is taking pictures. I took a photography class earlier this year and I loved it so much. I learned so much about my camera and about photography in general and had so much fun. But this semester has made it near impossible for me to find the time to go out and take a few hours to take pictures like I want to. So while I was running, I had an idea for a picture I'd like to take and I thought about how I'd like to do that for this project and how it would relate to my wellspring being running and all. And yes, it would be a good picture and it would be memorable to me. But it would a one time thing and I would get an assignment out of the way. It would also get one creative burst out of my system and then what?
I have a friend who started doing a 365 project 148 days ago and she has been sticking to it. Like me, photography is a hobby for her, although she takes it a bit more seriously. She does self-portraits and even though she doesn't always feel up to it, she still manages to get a really beautiful photograph taken every day. When she started doing this, I was really inspired and wanted to do something like this, but was very intimated by the idea of trying to take a creative photograph every day for a year. Not to mention with my schedule how in the world would I have the time to do something like that?
Then this assignment came along. My friend updated her facebook page with her latest pictures around the time I was still coming up with my idea for this project and then all of a sudden this idea and courage finally hit me. Why not just go ahead and finally start my own 365 project? Every time I see her pictures, I'm always wanting to do exactly what she's doing. So why not do it? This assignment is just the motivation and kick in the ass I need to do it. A 365 project isn't the most original idea but the photographs will be. They will be my own and they will be what I need to help me find my creative spark again. If it's one small creative spark a day, that's all I need.
I'm excited and scared to be starting this project. I'm excited to see what photographs I'll be taking and all the new things I'm going to be learning about my camera and myself as a photographer and a creator. I'm scared that I won't be able to finish this project and that I will lose my passion for photography throughout the making of this project. But I won't know unless I try.
So with that said, I bet you are wondering where is my first picture. Well, I figured it would be best if I actually started my 365 on April 18, 2011. I will take my first picture then and post it in another blog entry. :)
Class Response 4/11
In class we answered the question "Why am I here?" and I was really impressed with what people presented. It's very clear to see that a lot of people in class have a lot of talent. A lot of people seemed to have an idea of why they were here. Some had it relate to school and their skills (like me) and other had it relate to their own lives. I thought that Lauren's was great because she clearly knows why she is here. I thought that Brittany's drawing was great and I loved how she wrote out how she meant something to the people in her lives.
When I talked about my project it was good feeling to know that I wasn't the only one that has gone through these feelings like you have no inspiration or motivation to create. It was also really nice to have some people in the class to give me some advice on how to find my passion for what it is that I love to do.
When I talked about my project it was good feeling to know that I wasn't the only one that has gone through these feelings like you have no inspiration or motivation to create. It was also really nice to have some people in the class to give me some advice on how to find my passion for what it is that I love to do.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Why am I here?
Last week when we were asked to answer "Why am I here?" At first, this question frustrated me. I think I started to think of my life in the grand scheme of things and I don't think a week is long enough for me to really answer the question of why I am here. I don't think I could really fully answer that question to be quite honest. This question also frustrated me because I'm so busy with other projects for school, I'm stressed about my personal money situation since work hasn't been going quite as well as I'd like it to, I can't work the hours I need to at work because of school and interning, and then I'm also stressed about my living situation coming up this summer. My life is so full of this trivial crap and stress that to take the time to sit and think about "Why am I here?" just aggravated me. I could be using this time to do other things.
And because of all this stress that this one question caused me on this particular day, it brought up all my negative feelings that I feel about school. Again. And it makes me wonder a lot as to why I came to school in the first place. Why am I here? I came here straight out of high school because my parents expected it out of me. My friends expected it out of me. My teachers did, as did the rest of my family. And yes, I guess I expected it out myself too... just because I knew I'd do well. But I look at my projects and my schoolwork and I have no passion and no drive. At all. I have one year left and I feel like I'm going to be leaving this school having learned nothing to be quite honest.
I look at my mom who went to college for 2 semesters out of high school and quit because of her job that she had and because she got married. She then had kids and life took over. She's now 45 years old and she has more passion and more drive to go to school than I do. She went back to school last year and she studied so hard, took her school so incredibly serious and she only had time to take 2 classes at a time with her 2 jobs. And I felt horrible that I had a job that I worked 20 hours a week and was taking 12 credit hours... basically had the time that she didn't have and my heart wasn't in it. I just went through the motions, did what I had to do just to get the grades I needed. She had to quit school because with her jobs school just became too much. I know that she would love more than anything to go back and finish getting her degree in nursing.
Again, I wonder why the hell am I here in school when I'm here just because I'm supposed to be here. Yes, I have a talent and skill that I know I can make a decent living with and having a degree will help me make that living. But I look at those who would love, absolutely LOVE, to have this opportunity to go school and get their degree... have an absolute thirst for knowledge, and I don't have that passion. At least not at this school. I find that there are times that I've lost my passion for design. I haven't made anything for myself in years. I was more ambitious when I was 17 years old and didn't have these tools in front me that I do now.
I hate to say it, but from this class it's really been solidified in my head that I'm not an artist. Which is okay, because I never once claimed to be an artist. I like to design, it's something I've always liked to do. But my passion for it... my passion for creating something for myself is gone. I really don't know how to get that back. I miss it. That's why I didn't "create" something for this assignment. Because I don't know "what" to create for myself anymore. Maybe if that passion was back, maybe my passion for my education would finally arrive because I don't think it ever came.
And because of all this stress that this one question caused me on this particular day, it brought up all my negative feelings that I feel about school. Again. And it makes me wonder a lot as to why I came to school in the first place. Why am I here? I came here straight out of high school because my parents expected it out of me. My friends expected it out of me. My teachers did, as did the rest of my family. And yes, I guess I expected it out myself too... just because I knew I'd do well. But I look at my projects and my schoolwork and I have no passion and no drive. At all. I have one year left and I feel like I'm going to be leaving this school having learned nothing to be quite honest.
I look at my mom who went to college for 2 semesters out of high school and quit because of her job that she had and because she got married. She then had kids and life took over. She's now 45 years old and she has more passion and more drive to go to school than I do. She went back to school last year and she studied so hard, took her school so incredibly serious and she only had time to take 2 classes at a time with her 2 jobs. And I felt horrible that I had a job that I worked 20 hours a week and was taking 12 credit hours... basically had the time that she didn't have and my heart wasn't in it. I just went through the motions, did what I had to do just to get the grades I needed. She had to quit school because with her jobs school just became too much. I know that she would love more than anything to go back and finish getting her degree in nursing.
Again, I wonder why the hell am I here in school when I'm here just because I'm supposed to be here. Yes, I have a talent and skill that I know I can make a decent living with and having a degree will help me make that living. But I look at those who would love, absolutely LOVE, to have this opportunity to go school and get their degree... have an absolute thirst for knowledge, and I don't have that passion. At least not at this school. I find that there are times that I've lost my passion for design. I haven't made anything for myself in years. I was more ambitious when I was 17 years old and didn't have these tools in front me that I do now.
I hate to say it, but from this class it's really been solidified in my head that I'm not an artist. Which is okay, because I never once claimed to be an artist. I like to design, it's something I've always liked to do. But my passion for it... my passion for creating something for myself is gone. I really don't know how to get that back. I miss it. That's why I didn't "create" something for this assignment. Because I don't know "what" to create for myself anymore. Maybe if that passion was back, maybe my passion for my education would finally arrive because I don't think it ever came.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Fear Reaction
I was really impressed with a lot of the projects presented by the class. The one that really "scared" me in the traditional sense was when the tarantula was brought into class. I have always had a fear of spiders and that is something that will never go away.
When Erica (I believe it was?) showed the video of the cock roaches, I got really nauseous. Bugs just make my skin crawl and that video just made me uncomfortable. It felt dark and dingy. I felt dirty after watching the video.
Some people talked about their fears about relating to their lives and not succeeding or not living up to an expectation they set for themselves or that someone set for them. I think that's something that we all face at some point in our lives. For this assignment, I was definitely one of those students who didn't want to face on of the intangible fears. Maybe it just felt a little too personal for me and maybe it just felt a little too scary facing some of those fears. Sure, like a lot of kids in this class I'm scared to death I'm going to fail when I graduate and that I won't live up to this dream I had in my head of what I was going to be like in this career. And then I have this fear that I'm really not as creative as I think I am, that my ideas are not as great as they really sound and that someone can do better than me. Sure they are fears, and they come and go. But it's not something I feel comfortable getting in front of a group of people and talking about. So for those that did, I thought that was a pretty brave thing to do.
When Erica (I believe it was?) showed the video of the cock roaches, I got really nauseous. Bugs just make my skin crawl and that video just made me uncomfortable. It felt dark and dingy. I felt dirty after watching the video.
Some people talked about their fears about relating to their lives and not succeeding or not living up to an expectation they set for themselves or that someone set for them. I think that's something that we all face at some point in our lives. For this assignment, I was definitely one of those students who didn't want to face on of the intangible fears. Maybe it just felt a little too personal for me and maybe it just felt a little too scary facing some of those fears. Sure, like a lot of kids in this class I'm scared to death I'm going to fail when I graduate and that I won't live up to this dream I had in my head of what I was going to be like in this career. And then I have this fear that I'm really not as creative as I think I am, that my ideas are not as great as they really sound and that someone can do better than me. Sure they are fears, and they come and go. But it's not something I feel comfortable getting in front of a group of people and talking about. So for those that did, I thought that was a pretty brave thing to do.
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